I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize