He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
