so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
