eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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