Small penises have feelings too.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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