i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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