I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
