we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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