Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
