So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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