We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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