he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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