If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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