Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
