The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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