Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
