I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i already hear my dad disowning me
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My legs feel like baby dolphins
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
