i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
