maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
