Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
did i just pee glitter
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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