You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize