...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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