we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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