It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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