Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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