If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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