I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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