I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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