The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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