All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
