i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
how drunk are you?
Several
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
