don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
