Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
