Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
