wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
