I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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