i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
