If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I have feelings that need drinking.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
