Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
