i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
