You work out of a Hotel?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
