Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
