just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
