That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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