My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
