On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
