Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
