This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
