Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
