I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
