What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
