return my video game
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
