i just google imaged poop.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
