I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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