its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
