I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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