you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
