Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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