the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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