Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
