thus making me awesome and them whores
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Randomize
