You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
