I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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