His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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