it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
