I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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