Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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