I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
