Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize