I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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